The sixth post in the series “Stories Save My Life” is written by Claire Salcedo, who is my youngest sister and great friend.

Claire is a singer/songwriter and an amazing upcoming talent. Listen to her music here on Bandcamp and PLEASE support her, if you like the music, by purchasing her incredibly affordable EP.

Follow her on Twitter and on Tumblr and make sure you add your comments below:

What character (from any media) made you feel more secure in who you were as a child?

- Sarah

“Familiar Friends: Returning to Pride and Prejudice”

Guest Poster: Claire Salcedo

I read Pride and Prejudice when I was eleven years old. I vividly remember sitting by the fireplace in my family’s apartment, reading Jane Austen’s words as the logs crackled and burned away. This memory, of exactly where and when I read a book, was the first of its kind. I can’t recall specific books I read before that moment, but I could point out any book on my shelves that I read after Pride and Prejudice, and tell you the date and place I first read it. Something new had happened.

I had already enjoyed reading when I was very young (at four years old, I used to sneak out of my room in the middle of the night to look at picture books in the bathroom). I had loved stories in general—whether being spun a new tale at bedtime (Sarah can attest that I am still, 13 years later, asking her to write down one of those stories) or dreaming one up just to pass a pleasant day.

Pride and Prejudice, however, was my first serious book, and it triggered a hunger in me to read like I had never known before. I began to really love literature after I read it, and I eagerly devoured any book that came my way.

For a long time, I was a quiet kid who struggled to find a voice and the courage to use it. I was an observer. Elizabeth was bold, witty, and while she watched others and their follies, she knew when to speak her mind. She was never afraid just to be herself—whether that was teasing her friends, supporting her family, or tearing into Mr. Darcy.

I liked the fact that she wasn’t perfect and was very aware of it. When you’re in the throes of growing up, and most things in your life seem to be tumbling around you, it’s nice to have such a forgiving standard.

The characters always draw me in deeply. In every one of them, I feel like I see the reflection of someone I know— a friend, acquaintance, or family member. I laugh and sigh with them, and never feel like they hang off in the distance, like some awkward acquaintance I have nothing in common with. I squirm at the antics of Mr. Collins, am horrified at Lydia and annoyed at the haughty Caroline Bingley. I’m always rooting alongside the elder Bennets and muttering insults when Willoughby tries once more to ingratiate himself with Elizabeth. They’re just as human, flawed and ridiculous as you and I.

Strangely enough, that’s one of the reasons why Elizabeth Bennet became one of my heroes. She was flawed and complex, and more than just a static character on a page. So when I looked up to her and admired her, it wasn’t as if I was looking at a character that felt unreal. Emulating her was never some unattainable standard.

The kindness of that forgiving standard is why I come back again and again. It’s comforting to know that in all my moments of chaos and uncertainty, I can wrap myself up in the comings and goings of these characters. Somehow, I believe they’re real—yes I do know they’re actually fictional—and so when their troubles sort themselves out, I breathe a sigh of relief for myself too. It gives me the hope that even people still stumbling a little under the weight of their own faults find happy endings. Not perfect ones (although there are a few who have extremely good luck), but good ones. Pride and Prejudice is just so hopeful in having wonderfully flawed people live on, that I just have to be hopeful as well.

I’ve reread it about every year since, and I have to say, I think I have a much better understanding of it now then I did when I was eleven. I’ve written essays on it for English classes and college applications, watched the BBC miniseries probably a dozen times, and poured through all of Austen’s other books. There was also a point at which I could quote the miniseries, in ten-minute segments. Even today, probably to the great annoyance of anyone unlucky enough to be watching it with me, I like to say the lines along with the characters. I remember I also had a phase where all I wanted to wear was clothing with empire waistlines. And in high school, one of the few nicknames I have ever received was Claire Austen. Yet no matter how many times I read it, write about it, or am teased for it, do I ever lose my love for it. The story just stays with me, time after time, no matter what’s happening in my life.

That’s why I love Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice and all of the moments I can recall related to it. It has given me so much. It began my love affair with literature, and even influenced my decision to major in literature. It called me to be bold when I wanted courage, and gave me a hero. From the moment I first cracked open that book, I’ve had a constant source of inspiration, distraction, and comfort. I don’t think I could even really say how grateful I am for just one book that opened me up to such a wonderful place as is the world of the written word.